12th Apr 2008
                                                        Saturday

GETTING ON WITH LIFE

Yesterday, well, yesterday afternoon, we found out we had no viable pregnancy and the probability of a miscarriage was 95%. We didn't know when it happened or how or why it happened.

It all started when I had spotting 8 days ago (9 days counting today) which slowly turned from a dark brown to red. We got worried and went to the doctor on Monday, which we had to wait an hour and a half for (we went opposite to do some shopping, no time wasted). Our family doctor was not in so we saw a different doctor. He told me to rest more. Two days later we saw our family doctor who was concerned and requested blood work for three days and an ultrasound which although urgent could only be available on Tuesday the following week at the soonest. We were frustrated and we had not even seen the fetus yet or even its heartbeat.

That night I bled more and we went to emergency where we were told I had a threatened miscarriage and I had a pelvic exam. The doctors and nurses were very kind and comforting. They assured us that it was nothing we had control over and it was no fault of either of us and it was possibly nature's way of dealing with a pregnancy that had problems. They gave us no assurance of what would happen next as it was possible it would be fine or the other way around.

Thursday came around and I started getting cramps, bad cramps. We went to emergency again and the nurse and doctor on duty listened to us and we asked if it were possible to have an ultrasound at the hospital so we would know (see) what it was I was carrying, maybe it was to have a little hope. The doctor also mentioned there was a 50-50 chance of me having a miscarriage. He gave us a requisition form and asked us to call up the ultrasound department the next morning and ask for an available slot that same day as the department does reserve some slots for emergency.

Early Friday morning, my husband, who rarely wakes up anywhere earlier than 9 am, dutifully woke up at 8:15 am and called up the department and they had a slot for us at 1 pm. We had the ultrasound but were told that there was no viable pregnancy seen. I asked her where do we go from here and was told once again to go down to emergency to see the doctor who would be able to help us understand the steps we would take next.

The events of the past few days had put us on a roller coaster and we were tired, I could see it in my husband's eyes, both physically and mentally tired. Waiting in the emergency room for the doctor can be long because priority is given to those in need first. That afternoon we waited two hours but it was understood that there were people who needed attention more than we did.

Our turned finally came and a very friendly nurse came in (if I remember correctly, her name was Jeanne) and we asked her questions and she tried to put us at ease by trying to answer our questions to the best of her ability and she listened to our story. She said she would get the blood work we had done at the Medical Labs and the ultrasound we had done at 5 weeks from the Ultrasound Lab (both not affiliated to the hospital). I have only praises for her for when the doctor came, he had all the information at hand.

He was a good doctor, patient, explained slowly so that we both understood and before he started, he asked us to tell him our story, which we did and I supposed he could see all our frustrations pouring out, especially from me. We appreciated his honesty as he did not try to pretend to know all the answers and where he did not know, he told us so honestly. He did a pelvic exam during which another doctor came in to talk to us.

I guess the first doctor probably had talked to him and he wanted to help us. He understood miscarriage as his wife had had a miscarriage too and had gone on to have two kids and she had been 41 years when she had one of them. A relative of his had also had a child at 43 so there was a possibility I would be able to have one too although window of opportunity is growing smaller. He offered us the name of a doctor who would be able to help us if we really wanted to try for another child, one who would be able to answer our questions, advise us on how to to increase our chances of conception and to have a safe pregnancy.

We thanked them for being understanding at a time when we needed it and also for the professionalism that they showed. Although I cannot remember their names, we are both very grateful to the doctors and nurses we came into direct contact with from the Emergency - Royal Columbian Hospital.

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